Playing Jonah

I usually don't title my entries till I'm done writing. I find it easier that way. So I'm gonna do the same for this one, and the next and the next. Except that its gonna be a little tricky this time cos it's something I don't quite know how to tell. I foresee myself struggling as I work my way through a web of mixed emotions and issues I wish I could bury forever. Naive but true. I should have anticipated it. It's stupid of me to think God will sit by and watch his children run in circles all their lives. He might watch us for a while and see what excuse we can come up with. But He wants us to face up to our fears someday.

After years of running and tons of excuses, I have a sick feeling it's game over this time. Like Jonah, I'd much rather jump into the ocean and drown than have to deal with this. To me, it's as good as death.

There have been some unexpected happenings at home lately. It's gonna take up too much space if I were to deal with this in one entry. So I'll try to break it up, posting them over the next couple of weeks or as and when there is development. But it's something which is still unfolding. So I don't really know where it's gonna lead.

rk