The Swan In Me
Please forgive my slowness in churning out posts for my blog. The past weeks have been crazy ever since our schizophrenic foreign domestic helper changed her mind and demanded we send her back to the agent, pronto. It's a long story. So much has transpired in the final days leading to her departure that it'd drain me out writing about them. So I'll leave that out and hope that her replacement comes through quickly so we can all have some normalcy back into our life. In the mean time, miss "in-control" tried her best to keep things running. To a some extent, she succeeded. She managed to get her finger cut - almost requiring stitches, handled the cleaning and washing in spite of it, fired her son's tutor, found a replacement, get her kids going and kept the house close to spotless. In between, she tolerated her daughter's persistent whininess (why does God make little girls so whiny??), gave her son's class bully a dressing down he'll remember for life, accommodated her in-laws as they came over to help, squeezed in some time to supervise her children's school work AND survived her husband's unreasonable demands.
I hate transitions.
The time came for her to meet up with the new tutor and there she was, frazzled with a dozen things in her mind. She could hardly wait to get on with it so she could move on to the next thing that needed fixing. She was anxious, yet hopeful, wanting so much to get it right this time round. It was an hour long conversation with the tutor and she was dizzy with information overload. She tried to let them all sink in but couldn't keep her mind from rehearsing that unexpected comment from the tutor. She seems like a fine tutor but that single comment bothered her.
"........you are such a simple and innocent mother, so untouched by the stress of your children's education."
Academic success is the no.1 worry and MAJOR stress trigger of Singaporean parents due to the high standard of education here.
"You are too easy-going my dear. You need to be more stressed," she said in motherly fashion. ????!!!!
I kept my thoughts to myself and managed a half smile. I doubt Screwtape would assign me to his nephew, Wormwood - not yet at least. I would be a difficult target if the tutor's assessment is anything to go by. His subordinate nephew might not be ready.
Stress and worry is a favourite weapon the enemy uses against us, pastor said. Even if we can't help it, at least learn to be like the swan - remain calm on the surface while paddling like crazy beneath the waters. The devil, not being omnipresent, can only assess us by what we manifest on the outside.
Unfortunately Screwtape has observed me in another environment - my home, where guards are down - and has already sent Wormwood to sift me like wheat.
I need my armour.