To Care Or Not To Care
Sometimes I wish I could care less. Let all be cursed and not give a damn! When you sense a need approaching, simply look the other way. Surely it's not that difficult? At most give them some kind words, a hug or two and if you think you're insightful enough, some practical advice to go along. Anything more then that is martyrdom. If it's your family, it's obligatory. Because that's what families do, they say. You stick with each other no matter. Their load is as much yours as it is theirs. That's what it means to be family. Your joys and sorrows are shared with each other. Or so it seems.
But why bother for anyone outside that circle? Who needs the extra load anyway? Don't we all have enough of our own, and then some? Their tears is theirs alone. Not yours. Afterall, they have their own family to take care of them. And some friends silly enough to get involved, you tell yourself. Then you promise to wash your hands off. I will detach myself....I will detach myself. You keep repeating like some mantra.
Care - why do I even bother? What is there to gain but more pain? Why do I keep tormenting myself this way?
It's not as if it's your first time, you fool! You see it coming plain and clear, didn't you? Yet you get yourself entangled again. You deserve it, you stupid fool!
But I can't. I can't. Why is it that I can't? WHY DO I HAVE TO CARE SO MUCH?
I can't explain WHY but I will continue to care. I will make that call. I will write that note. I will pray. I will love. I will be the fool, for LOVE.
If it sucks me dry, so be it.