...of love and loss

Last week a friend fowarded we a powerpoint presentation of The Philosophy of Life. Two of them caught my attention. One was the question "What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one that made you cry?" and "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, loves somebody else" I noticed that there are more questions in life than we have answers for. But isn't that part of what makes life exciting? Ultimately, as I journey through life, I realize that finding the answers is not as vital as having the ability to trust..... that all questions will find it's meaning and purpose one day. To trust that God will work in and through them to fulfill his eternal plan for us.

So I did not really attempt to answer them but thought them worth fowarding to my friends. A friend replied with more questions to the original question! And I find her "answers" worth thinking over.

"Why does one cry in the first place?", she asked. "Is it the hurt that was too much to handle or that we are just too weak?" To that I replied, because we are human. The ability to cry is a strength my dear, not weakness. I think to the degree that we invest our heart, to that degree we hurt. If we hurt much, it's only bcos we've loved much? So do we still posses the ability to love after being crushed "many times over"? For me personally, if it happens it can only be through God's grace. Left to my own, I only have a heart of stone to offer.

"And when we stop crying was anything resolved?" Most of the time not, I guess. But we would have had a taste of the mystery of love.

And what about watching the one you love, loves somebody else? While I've not had a personal encounter in terms of romantic love, I've experienced in in other forms of relationships. It is a difficult thing and it takes the grace of God to be able to accept it without resentment or bitterness. When our commitment and affection for someone else is not met with the same degree of intensity and passion, we are tempted to feel rejected. We wallow in self-doubt and agonize over all the whys? Sometime ago I experienced a very potent form of rejection - indifference. It is said that indifference is a worse kind of weapon than hate, to inflict pain. No one wants to be ignored. For some reason, there is something within us that wants to be found and known.

As I reflect upon this, I can't help but see a spiritual analogy to it. The wanting to be found and known was satisfied when Jesus found me and gave me a "belonging" I never had. Isn't our cry within really a crying for acceptance and belonging? With him, here is no need to act up. No trying to please him to gain his favor or acceptance. There is only freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from insecurities, freedom to be who you are, freedom to love, freedom to truly live. Because he promised that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Yet we do not find many Christians living in such freedom. I agree with Henri Nouwen that the greatest way to spiritual decline is forgetfulness. We have forgotten that we are beloved by God himself. We forgot that the Good Shepard is always looking out for us and have our best interest in heart. We forgot that he is still in control. We forgot that the work required to secure the destiny of our souls was initiated by him and fulfilled by him and through him. We only need to receive and rest in him.

Rest my soul, rest....... the work is done. Now live like it.